To My Little Pixie Pie On Your First Birthday

Astoria Joy Talulah Stodola, it is hard to believe that an entire year has passed since you came into this world, kicking and screaming as the nurses gave you your first bath, weighed you, inked your tiny feet, and bundled you up tight so I could get a few moments to touch your little face and kiss your little nose before you were handed to daddy and whisked away to wait for me in the post-op room. I remember that you stopped crying the instant your face touched mine and at that very second, I was overwhelmed with love and knew we had already formed a lifelong bond. It may have only been a brief moment, but it is one that I will never forget. There are times, even now, when your little nose brushes up against my cheek and I am brought right back to that day and become flooded with emotion.

Within a couple days of your birth, we were told that you had failed your newborn hearing screen multiple times and would need to see an audiologist for another hearing test after you came home. Hearing loss is not something that runs in our family at all, and the prospect of having a deaf child is something I had never even considered. But once faced with that possibility, I chose to embrace it with open arms and an open mind because whatever the results were, it wouldn’t change the way we looked at you or how we felt about you. To us, you are perfect.

When the day finally came for your first audiology appointment, your father and I were prepared for anything and more than ready for a diagnosis. And we got just that... You were just over a month old when we you were diagnosed with  “mild to moderate bilateral neurosensory hearing loss” We immediately began the process to get you fitted with hearing aids and started working with  CHIP (Colorado Home Intervention Program) to provide us with a speech therapist and sign language instructor.  

You received your hearing aids when you were just about 3 months old and have worn them like a little rockstar, ever since. We now have Marsha come into our house for speech therapy and Rachella come for sign lessons once a week. These ladies are amazing and are such a perfect fit for our family. I am eternally thankful for their presence in our lives. We also have some amazing friends, Misha and Jolie, whose daughter, Metta, has the same type and severity of hearing loss as you. All of these people have become our Colorado family and we would never have known any of them, without you! You have blessed and enriched our lives and our family in ways I could never have imagined.

My dearest little Stori, I want you to know, more than anything, that hearing loss will always be a part of your life, but it will NEVER define you as a person. You are absolute perfection to me and I would never change a single thing about you. You are an amazing little girl who is tiny but strong; feisty but incredibly sweet and loving; extremely dramatic but unexpectedly easygoing at times. You are quick with a smile so brilliant it could shine light in the darkest of places. Your determination and ability to learn new signs, gestures, and words to communicate is astounding. You already know almost 20 signs and 10 words, which is so awesome and such a testament to your determination and intelligence.  No matter what goals and obstacles are set in your path, you always seem to be a couple steps ahead of the game.

I love to see you in the role of “little sister”. You just adore your big brother, Zoren, and would follow him to the ends of the earth just so you could be by his side. You are a tricky little pixie though and I am never surprised to see you sneak up behind Z and steal whatever toy he happens to be playing with,  just so you can run away at top speed, giggling all the way, and knowing that a chase will soon ensue. You are also notorious for running into his room over and over after you wake up from your nap, with high hopes that you will wake him up so you can play together, and many times, you do just that. Watching the two of you grow, learn, and interact together on a daily basis makes my heart swell with love and pride.

This year has brought our family a lot of great memories, unforgettable moments, some fun outings, and even a new grandpa! You went to your first Dragon Boat Festival, Renaissance Festival, Boo at the Zoo, and survived your first 30 hour round trip car ride to and from Wisconsin for Thanksgiving! We have been on countless outings to the Denver Zoo, Children’s Museum, Downtown Aquarium, Botanic Gardens, Science and Nature Museum, Butterfly Pavilion, and we got to explore the Garden of the Gods, Manitou Cliff Dwellings, and feed the giraffes at the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. This has truly been an amazing year!

There have definitely been some obstacles this year as well, the hardest for me was when our school district did their initial evaluation on you at 3 months old and subsequently tried to label you with a developmental delay, deciding you would need physical therapy once a week for 6 months. To me, this was unacceptable. I knew you did not have any kind of delay and refused weekly PT, but did allow for a physical therapist to reevaluate you and come over to see you once a month for 6 months, to ensure you were on track with your milestones... And you not only hit your milestones, but you, by far, exceeded any expectations we could have possibly had. You were crawling at 6 months, pulling yourself up to stand on your own by 7 months, walking unassisted at 8 months, and running and climbing by 10 months old. Needless to say, the physical therapist was stunned and quickly dismissed herself from service.

You seem to have a way of effecting everyone that you meet and people seem to be transfixed with your beauty, charm, curiousness, and spunk. You have an adorable facial expression for every emotion and every occasion. With one look, you somehow maintain the ability to bring warmth and sunshine to even the stormiest of days and that is something that I dearly treasure. It is safe to say, that in your first year of life, you have already touched the lives of many people, and I can say for certain, we are all better people because we have you.

No matter the obstacles you face in life, my dearest Stori, I want you to grow up knowing that I will forever be your ears when you cannot hear, your eyes when you cannot see, your legs when you cannot stand, and your source strength and support when you feel all is lost. I am so blessed and proud to be your mother and no matter what the future holds, that is something that will never change.

So we now arrive to the dreaded time when I have to officially bid adieu to your infancy, as you are quite officially a toddler now. Such a big step for me even though I know you have unofficially been a toddler for months already. I hope your next year of life brings you endless amounts of joy and happiness because that is a gift you give to me every day, just by being you. You are my little spitfire, my pixie pie, my drama queen, my monkey shine, and above all, my baby girl. I love you so much more than words can express and I am so proud of all you have accomplished this year. I guess there is nothing left to say except:

Happy 1st Birthday Miss Astoria!!!